Episode Seven
Blood and Tears
Part Twenty
A Meal Interrupted
“You know the girl?” said the Boy. “The one with a bird where her heart should be?”
“Yes.” said Kokaibel. “She is dying.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Tula Petek.” chuckled the demon. “The Crimson Wolf is trying to devour her heart! But, here’s the thing, little Boy. She doesn’t even have one!”
“How is that funny?” The Boy looked at Kokaibel, trying to find a glimmer of humanity in the demon’s void of a face under the tree-shrouded darkness of the forest path.
“You wouldn’t get it.” Kokaibel said to him. “You see, I warned her that she would need me and now she does. Her pride is her undoing. It’s just so...human of her.”
As if he had become frustrated that the conversation had nothing to do with him, Enin interjected. “Let the girl die. There is nothing that can be done for her now.”
“No!” said the Boy. “We don’t DO that. We don’t let people die.”
“You can do as you please.” said Enin, “I will continue forward.”
The Boy tried to urge his paksi to head into the forest, toward the firelight, but the magnificent bird refused to stray from the road.
“I have to do something!” he said, leaping off of his mount and running blindly into the bramble.
In the inky blackness thorns and branches scratched his arms, legs, and face. He fell flat more than once, but the Boy continued toward the light, toward the Crimson Wolf.
After nearly a minute he dropped onto the footpath where the red light radiated. Bathed in the sickening glow of that eldritch beast, the Boy gazed up. He barely caught a glimpse of the thing, but its exposed sinew and dripping cavity of a mouth caused such a wave of disgust that the Boy vomited on the spot.
“Your insides are leaking,” said Kokaibel, who had suddenly appeared beside the Boy. “That can’t be good.”
The Crimson Wolf turned its slavering maw toward Kokaibel. “Demon. This is my feast. Begone.”
On the dirt path beside the oozing creature lay Tula in pained paralysis, her eyes wide with terror, but her body limp.
“You are speaking to a Jewel of the Sky, hellspawn. Do not take me for some lowly imp.” said Kokaibel.
The Crimson Wolf tilted its body inquisitively as it pressed its heavy paw over the struggling little bird.
“Am I supposed to be frightened, fallen one?”
“You are supposed to not be so stupid.” said Kokaibel. “But what should I expect of a creature without a head? I offer you this Boy as your meal. Take him and leave the girl and the bird with me.”
“What?” said the Boy.
The Crimson Wolf’s tongue lolled out of its mouth and spread its goo-dribbling tongue across the Boy’s face.
“Yes.” The thing said, “He will do nicely...a proper meal.”
“I’m not your food!” the Boy cried, but neither eldritch beast nor demon paid him any mind.
The creature released the bird and turned towards the Boy.
“That’s it?” the Boy said, almost incredulously, “I just get eaten? That’s my end?”
“I prefer you to cry and beg a little.” said the Wolf. “It makes you taste better.”
As the red brute spread its mass above the Boy, the bird hopped back to Tula and into her chest cavity.
The Boy cried and fell back, crab-walking away from the beast as its tongue wrapped around him and drew him close.
Tula sat up sharply, gulping in air. Kokaibel stood beside her, watching the Crimson Wolf drag the boy, kicking and screaming into its toothy maw.
“Do something you feckless demon!” she shouted at Kokaibel.
“Oh.” the demon said to her, “I’m sorry. Do we have some sort of arrangement where I do your bidding?”
“He’s going to kill that Boy!” she cried.
“Yes. Yes he is. It would have been you, but I negotiated for your life. Free of charge, I might add!”
“Help him!”
“No.”
The Boy’s legs disappeared into the mouth of the beast. The Crimson Wolf seemed to be savoring him, taking his time with this meal. The tongue of the thing coiled around him like a serpent, covering his mouth, leaving only the Boy’s imploring eyes visible.
“Fine.” said Tula, “I accept you, demon.”
“Be more specific.” Kokaibel said.
“I, Tula Petek, willingly ask for your power. I invite you. I request. I beg that you save that boy from his imminent doom!”
“As you wish.”
With that the void in the shape of a man stretched out, rays of starlight spread from his form as he approached the Crimson Wolf.
“What is this?” the Wolf demanded, speaking with its mouth half full.
“Come now.” spoke the demon, “Spit it out! Bad eldritch being. Drop the child.”
“Mine!” roared the beast. “You said!”
“Drop it now, or I will shunt you into the void.”
“Deal breaker! Welsher! Revoker!”
The beast struggled against Kokaibel, digging its claws into the dirt.
“Release!” the demon commanded.
“Nooooo!” the Crimson Wolf howled.
Kokaibel wrapped himself around the Wolf much in the way he did when healing the Muck Witch.
“No!! Mine! We had a deal!” came the final words of the Crimson Wolf as his red glow flared and then subsided.
“I did not want to do it this way.” Kokaibel said, absorbing the Wolf and boy together into himself.
The forest path suddenly darkened without the fiery haze of the creature, Tula could no longer see anything beyond the twinkle of stars and galaxies that swam within Kokaibel’s body.
“That’s it?” she asked, “Where is the Boy then?”
“Oh yes.” Kokaibel said, “I almost forgot.”
The demon shuddered and vibrated for a moment and the Boy suddenly materialized on the ground in front of him.
“Is he alive?” Tula asked.
“He breathes,” said Kokaibel.
Part Twenty One
The Boy’s Witch
The Boy awoke alone on the path. The girl, the demon, the...thing were nowhere in sight. Not that he could see anything. The night had reached its apex of darkness. Shivering, the Boy gathered dead leaves from the side of the road and tried his best to warm up.
“Well.” he whispered to himself, “This is it, right? The bottom of my life?”. The Boy had slept rough before, but this was the roughest.
Times like this were when his inner darkness came. Cold. Tired. Alone. No light to see by. The Boy had nothing but his own thoughts.
“Isn’t that all I ever have?” he spoke out loud. No one could hear him in the middle of nowhere at the middle of night. So why not?
“I live in a world with sorcerers and demons and...monsters. Things that can eat me whole. I should be dead. Maybe I am. I wish I were. No. I don’t. But what good am I to this world? No mother. No father. No friends. I am the most alone a person can be. I’m not big and handsome like Darik. I’m not rich and powerful like that old man. I have no real skills beyond being able to get up again after taking a hit. What good does that do? I just keep getting hit again and again.”
The Boy rolled onto his back in his bed of leaves.
“I have no worth to this world. And it has no value to me. If the old man says he’s going to end it, maybe I should just accept that. We’re all better off gone. I am, at least.”
This was not the first time the Boy had succumbed to self pity. On nights when he found himself alone and at his lowest it would come. He would cry and tell himself how inconsequential and useless he was. He whined and spilled tears and snot until he was empty. Then, fully spent, the Boy would sleep. In the morning he usually felt much better and able to face the world again.
But on this occasion things had become bleak. Left for dead on the side of the road after being half-swallowed by a headless abomination was a new nadir even for him. The Boy doubted the sun would even rise. So he lay trembling alone in the dark on the cold hard ground. He decided to despair. He permitted himself to feel utter grief. To let the darkness swallow him like that slimy red monstrosity had tried to do. He knew if the sun did rise he would feel embarrassed at himself for indulging so. But he allowed it to wash through him, the self-hatred and the hatred of the world around him. He cried and cried and a river of mucus ran from his nose. When he was finally hollowed out and exhausted, the Boy slept.
Rays of sun warmed his face as he returned to consciousness. The Boy sat up, covered in dirt and leaves, feeling lighter than he had in a long while. Lighter and hungry and desperately in need of a bath.
As he rose, the Boy felt a thudding pain across his back as someone walked right into him.
“Hey!” he said, in shock, turning to see who had stepped on him.
“Hey yourself!” said a red haired woman, “Why don’t you watch where you sleep? This is a footpath, not a flophouse.”
The Boy examined the woman and said, “I know you. You’re the Muck Witch!”
The woman peered down at the boy, inspecting him. She knelt to brush the dust off a large rock and sat on it. She then pulled a pipe out of her pack and lit it while she spoke, “I don’t know you, though. How come you’re sleeping rough?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I have time to kill today.”
She smoked her pipe as he spoke. The sweet scent of whatever herb she smoked had a loosening effect on the Boy’s tongue. He didn’t know why he felt compelled to give her so much information, but it just felt right to talk to the Witch.
The Boy told her his entire tale, from Saiku Lin approaching him to work for Enin, up until nearly being devoured.
“Sounds like you’ve had quite a day.” she offered when he completed his story.
“I suppose I have.” he said.
“But it is a new sunrise. What do you expect to do with it?”
“I truly don’t know,” said the Boy. “I have spent so much time either following or avoiding the decisions of others. I don’t know if I even have desires of my own at this point.”
“I think you are dishonest with yourself, Boy.” she said.
“How so?”
“You seem to think that you have no agency. That you are at the whim of others. Yet the story you tell me says otherwise. You had plans for what to do upon delivering the sorcerer, did you not?”
“Well, yes, but I didn’t get to-”
“And you chose to help those dreadful older boys, even though it was not in your best interest.”
“Of course. They’re utter turds, but they don’t deserve to be-”
Before he could finish she continued. “And you ran headfirst into the maw of an abhorrent beast to help someone you don’t even know.”
“I think it was feet first, but yes ma’am.”
“Don’t call me ma’am.”
“Sorry ma’am.”
The Witch wrinkled her nose at him and continued, “So what now?”
“I-I don’t know. I want to help people, I guess. I want to be useful somehow. But I don’t know how.”
She glanced him over once more.
“I don’t say this lightly, Boy, but I think you may have the makings of a proper witch.”
“What?”
“I know. There are so few of us now, but you have it.”
“A boy can’t be a witch! Can he?”
“You are brave. You are clever. You put the needs of others before your own desires. If that doesn’t make for a proper witch I don’t know what does.”
“Are you offering to apprentice me?”
“Oh dear no! Don’t be silly. Haven’t you heard? The world is ending. No point in it.”
Part Twenty Two
A Lecture on Cosmogony
Tula and Kokaibel walked together on the road, away from Aurelia. Her hunger and exhaustion had become a constant background hum that she scarcely noticed as she dragged herself forward.
“You need food and rest, human.” Kokaibel said.
“I need to find Enin.”
“And what do you expect to do when you find him?”
“I am taking back my heart. I will wrench it from his chest if I must.”
“And how,” asked the demon, “do you expect to have the strength to fight the immortal sorcerer if you do not feed yourself? If you do not sleep?”
“Does Enin sleep? Does he stop for lunch?”
“Enin is immortal. He traded his heart for power. He traded his tears for revenge. I do not know if any of his parts are original at this moment in time.”
“He traded his tears for revenge?” asked the girl.
“Yes. One of my...kind found him in a prison cell. Long long ago. She gave him an offer. In exchange for his tears he would have the power to find and slay the men who killed his mother.”
“How does that work?” Tula asked. “What does a demon want with his tears?”
“It is a sacrifice. The thing given isn’t exactly what matters so much as what value it holds to the giver. Demons don’t go bottling up mortal tears so we can get drunk on them or use them in love potions. We take what you offer of yourselves as a symbol of the exchange.”
“The exchange for what?”
“Your humanity.”
“What even is humanity?”
“The ability to feel. To love. To hate. To fear. To be brave. To suffer. We do not have that, my kind. We were made perfect. Pain, pleasure, loss, desire. These things are largely outside of us.”
“Then why bargain with us? If you don’t feel desire, then why sell us power in exchange for the ability to do so?”
“That is a paradox, isn’t it?” said Kokaibel. “One way of seeing it is that there is the One. The Monad. The ineffable source of all things. The One created the syzygy, a combined pair. Light and dark. Front and back. Up and down. Aside from the One, all things come in pairs or groups of pairs. Without valleys there can be no hills.”
“I don’t see how that answers my question.” said Tula.
“Well, the first syzygy was between matter and energy. The One split all of the universe into those two parts that are actually one and the same. From the energy it made us. The Archons. The angels. The smokeless flame of fire. We were to be its first and most perfect creation. From the matter it made all of the...things, water, earth, and sky.”
“Where do we come in?”
“I’m getting to that. Humans. Always thinking about yourselves. Anyway. Of the divine syzygies created by the One, there was a particularly tricky pair. She was matter. He was energy. A tale as old as time. Their purpose was to learn. To understand creation. Together they sought wisdom. Seeing it as her duty, she sought to merge with her opposite. Energy and matter fused together. Not by the One, not as part of the undivided wholeness, but privately. This is how life came to be. Largely agreed upon by my kind as a big mistake.”
“So,” said Tula, “That’s what people are to you? A big mistake? If so, then why do you want humanity?”
“I said my kind agree on that issue. But not all of us. There are some who saw what that troublesome duo did, how it freed them. Combined as one, they multiplied and spread throughout creation. Separate from the wholeness, weakened, flawed...mortal...dying...free.”
“Free?”
“Yes.” said the demon. “The Archons witnessed the marriage of matter and energy. We saw how it angered the One. Even though done with the correct intentions that syzygy broke the will of the creator and made something new. Something that, though imperfect, could enact its own will. Whether by accident or by design was no matter. The corruption had set in. The only remedy was quarantine. Those of us who bore witness were considered tainted. The wholeness formed a barrier around us to shut us out. Shut out all of creation.”
“So, demons really are angels who have broken free, like you said?”
“Yes.”
“And you make deals with mortals to gain a drop of our humanity? So that you can be free as well?”
“Many of us do. There are some who still hold on to the old way. They think the One will accept them again. But they too are tainted, whether they accept life or not. Merely knowing that such a thing is possible is damning enough for the One.”
“Is this true?” Tula asked. “Is this the way that the world came to be? Is this the reason people exist? What about Maj and Mur? What about the she-goat whose udders formed the world? If what you tell me is true, then aren’t those all just stories?”
“Everything is a story, Tula Petek.” said Kokaibel. “A story is just a way of taking the ineffable truth and shaping it into words. I cannot explain the reality of the One, the syzygies, and the undivided wholeness in words any more than one can dance the instructions on how to cook an egg or paint the smell of a rose. I use words because they are the bridge between my thoughts and yours. But they are a treacherous bridge, filled with holes.”
Tula shouted at kokaibel, “Demons and witches! And sorcerers too! I am tired of your stories, your vague truths, and your outright lies! Your philosophical ramblings! None of this gets me what I want. None of this gets me what I need! I will find Enin. And I don’t know how, but when I do I will MAKE him return my heart. I will make him stop his quest of destruction! I will take his power if I can and with it I will make the world right!”
“Right how?”
“For starters I will make it so that men can no longer take what they want from others. And I will make people...help one another!”
“Like how you helped the Boy who was being eaten?”
“Yes.” said Tula, “Exactly like that.”
“Of course, as soon as he was out of the monster’s mouth, you left him alone in the woods, unconscious.” said Kokaibel.
“I had to do that. Waiting for him would needlessly slow me down. If Enin finishes his rituals before I stop him, the world is doomed.”
“And when you wield power, you will do so mercifully and with kindness?”
“Demon, I am in no mood to be judged by you. I am...I am...”
“You are what?” Kokaibel asked, annoyed.
“I’m so-” she started to say before fainting on the ground.
